Haircuts with Herb by Ed Belote Sr.

Herb Benjamin has been cutting hair in the town of North East, Maryland for more than forty-five years. His barbershop (just off the side of his tackle shop) has become a landmark, and all who visit appreciate Herb’s affable, witty personality. Getting a cut at Herb’s is like stepping back in time; almost like being in Mayberry – the friendship and laughter beckon you to come back for more. Push open that squeaky screen door – come on in and listen…

---

May/June 2007: The Elusive Mr. Watkins

When I walked into Herbs, Bob Lockhard from Missouri was in the chair of honor, most of the waiting seats were filled and a hot conversation was cooking.

In response to my questions, Bob said, “I was born and raised in the Elk Neck area, but I now live in Missouri and I’m down here visiting my sister, Carol Vaccarini, of Conowingo. She was in a car accident and I’ll be here for the next few weeks helping her.”

“Let me tell you a story about Bob’s daddy, Mr. Charles Lockhard,” injected Herb.

“He was 72 years old and came into this shop one day with a big smile and announced, ‘Herb, I’m six foot tall now!’ I knew this man well and looked him over carefully … and I thought to myself, ‘he sure did look taller.’

“I then asked him how he did that and he went on to explain how he recently went in at five-foot-ten inches for a knee operation and came out a six-footer.”

The shop exploded in laughter and over the din, Bob injected, “This is a true story.”

Herb inquired if Bob’s daddy was still living.

“Yes he is,” answered Bob. “He will be 86 next month and let me tell you, he has less gray hairs than I do.”

A sly little smile played on Mr. Watkins’ face and
he slowly explained, “What you have to do is charge
by ‘chair time’”. Raising his voice for emphasis,
he asked, “Haven’t you ever heard of Chair Time?”

Bob paid for his cut and exited the shop with the usual chorus of farewells, and a familiar-looking elderly gentleman climbed into the chair.

“How do I know you, sir?” I asked him.

“Oh I was in here one other time when you were doing your Haircuts thing and I gave you a hard time … all in fun of course,” he replied.

“Oh yes, now I remember, you wouldn’t give me your name and kept saying you were wanted by the law.”

About 90 minutes later, he finally confessed his name was Dwain Watkins. Seventy-eight years old, Mr. Watkins is formerly from Chads Ford, Pennsylvania, but now lives in Oxford and has a summer place in North East. (“Probably one of the nicest waterfront properties down here,” Herb allowed.)

“Just tell people I’m over the hill and senile and can’t remember anything,” said Mr. Watkins (with an ornery twinkle in his eye).

“You just described everyone in this room, Mr. Watkins,” chuckled Herb, and everyone looked at each other and started laughing.

“Herb makes a bundle off old guys like me because I haven’t got hardly any hair on my head,” lamented Mr. Watkins.

“Well, how am I supposed to charge for the cuts if not by the head?” questioned Herb.

A sly little smile played on Mr. Watkins’ face and he slowly explained, “What you have to do is charge by ‘chair time’”. Raising his voice for emphasis, he asked, “Haven’t you ever heard of Chair Time?”

Herb smiled a little bit and furrowed his brow as if he was serious, and said, “No, I have not heard of that, but I got a feeling I’m going to.”

“Chair Time is the only fair way to go,” continued Mr. Watkins. “You would charge, say … one dollar a minute because everyone knows a good barber can do a good cut in 10 minutes, and this would shake out to about a two-dollar cut for me.”

Everybody started laughing and someone piped in, “I hear John Edwards pays four-hundred dollars a cut, Herb. And by Mr. Watkins’ Chair Time system, he would have to sit in your chair for over six-and-one-half hours!”

“Now this is a perfect situation that proves ‘by the head’ is the best way to go,” said Herb. “I would need just one John Edwards-type of customer per day to make a living, and then [I could] go fishing for the rest of the day.”

Herb and Mr. Watkins were putting on quite a show, but Mr. Watkins suddenly changed the subject.

“What was the name of those brothers that were barbers and used to carve decoys, Herb?” he asked.

“That would be the Ward Brothers, Lem and Steve, from Crisfield,” Herb quickly shot back. (It never fails to amaze me how much Chesapeake Bay knowledge Herb possesses).

This answer brought a quick smile to Mr. Watkins’ face. It was as if Herb juiced his memory and he quickly replied, “You’re darn right, Herb, and I understand they made so much money off those carvings they stopped cutting hair.”

I saw an opening in this discourse and went for it – “Ole Herb carves decoys too; I got one for only fifty bucks, but at that rate I don’t think he’s going to retire too soon.”

Herb chuckled, “Now Ed, you know I gave that decoy to you.”

“Just teasing you Herb … I’m proud of my ‘Herb Original Decoy’ and I thank you very much for giving it to me. You’re a good friend.”

 

Haircuts with Herb Archives:

Current | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24